Williams released this in 1980. About the time Connie and I met each other. I dedicate this to her.
I tell people that without her I'd be two months behind on everything. Five days away from being evicted from wherever I was living and ten days away from being in jail.
The truth is I'd probably be dead.
She never hounded me about my drinking. Only that I should cut back. She came into Sam's Place after work one night and I was drinking a double Irish whiskey with water back. She said "This is cutting down?" I answered that I wasn't drinking my usual beer with it!
I was the type of alkie that truthfully never understood the concept of love let alone believe in it. The breadth, length, capacity of this thing. I grew up knowing that it was quantified, qualified, provable, demanded like it was a commodity of sorts. I never thought of it as just existing.
That passage in the Bible that talks about what love isnt'?. That may all be true, but whoever wrote it never grew up on Mill St.
My wife has always believed in me and I her. She would tell me she loved me and I always asked why.
She would say she didn't know what she'd do without me and I'd say "Cartwheels."
It's hard to accept love unconditionally from someone so willing to give it. When you think so little of yourself you have to question the judgement of someone like that.
She was talking with friends one night and came home with the announcement that they (she and her friends) decided that we (me and my friends) didn't respect them! I said "Well!" "You obviously don't respect yourselves!" "Look who the hell you're married to!:" That's a funny line but in the fogged mind of a newly recovering drunk it is mostly all the truth we can muster.
This tribulation of possible cancer we're working through has given me pause. I contemplate my mortality more now than before. I've mostly been someone who lived their life with impunity. With my higher powers help and the undeniable love Connie and I share I'll be better for it regardless of the outcome.
And so it goes.
Omnia vincit amor my friends
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Life in 2012
There was an article in the Pantagraph today (10-4-2012) about a man who had become so desperate that he held up a credit union in Bloomington. The article goes on to say that the offender was a convicted felon who explained he was at the end of his rope. A classic example of the desperate man taking desperate measures. There is a comment link on all articles at the on-line site for the Pantagraph and after a few "Oh boo hoo" comments came this one.
I'm Rick Banks, the step-son of James Tourle.
My dad was convicted in Michigan for the bad checks 12 years ago. That was not a recent thing. People change, and he had.
The economy has gotten so bad that a felon (no matter how old the charge) is someone that they can easily overlook because of the people lining up out the door for the same job. My dad was not lazy, He was a hard worker. As the article stated he did every small job that he could get his hands on and people raved about the awesome job that he did. He applied at every place in town that he could reasonably get to and when the time came that he needed assistance he went to every place in town that offered it and was turned down.
I'm Rick Banks, the step-son of James Tourle.
My dad was convicted in Michigan for the bad checks 12 years ago. That was not a recent thing. People change, and he had.
The economy has gotten so bad that a felon (no matter how old the charge) is someone that they can easily overlook because of the people lining up out the door for the same job. My dad was not lazy, He was a hard worker. As the article stated he did every small job that he could get his hands on and people raved about the awesome job that he did. He applied at every place in town that he could reasonably get to and when the time came that he needed assistance he went to every place in town that offered it and was turned down.
In all actuality this is not a story about a single man but (as OMG pointed out) is a testament to the state of our Nation and State. This is what people resort to. I am NOT trying to say that all of these circumstances are an excuse for what took place, far from it. What I am saying is that when certain people hit that point of desperation because the system built around them offers them no real alternative...sometimes people break and aren't thinking properly. Just look at all the bank robberies, muggings, and everything else in Bloomington and the rest of the Nation. People like my dad, Hard working people just trying to get ahead are being left in the dust under a system that was supposed to be built to help those same people. My sincerest apologies go out to the Bank and the teller that received the note because I understand the fear that she must have been facing while reading it. No one in our family is saying that what he did is right, AT ALL. But maybe this case can go to prove something to the government and anyone else that is responsible for helping create the flawed system and give felons opportunities for jobs.
That is all MY dad wanted, To work and supply for his family on his OWN. This is not about sympathy as much as it is understanding a symptom of a system that is not working. So, I beg, don't feel sorry for James Tourle...feel sorry EVERYONE who made a mistake so long ago and is feeling it to this day. Feel sorry for the people who just want to WORK, to provide for their families, To be a taxpaying, hardworking, citizen of the United States. Maybe then something can be done to prevent senseless things like this from happening."
Mr. Tourle. Wherever you are. You have to be incredibly proud of how you raised this man. If there have been thoughts of your failure to provide for your family this man is a monument to your life. I know you can accept that. The first sentence "....I am the step-son of.........and then into "My Dad..." proves how well you've done.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Warning!
Be aware!
There is an election coming in less than 45 days. The outcome is crucial to the survival of this country.
You can rest assured that any one who is running as a republican and parrots the view of Romney and Ryan will do what they promise to do. The middle class has all but disappeared already. These idiots will see to it that class warfare is an idiom of the past because in their view there are only two classes. "Them and us." The Obama administration was left holding the bag on G.W.s three wars, the economic meltdown and no help or inclination of how to lead a recovery and now they expect us to give it back to them so it can be fixed by the same bunch that got us here.
I see people who have to work two or three jobs cheering this guy on. They some how see him as the redeemer he thinks himself to be. I don't get it. I'm convinced that People are more gullible than I ever imagined. Someone told me last week that they weren't going to vote at all. Is that one less vote needed for my guy to win or one less for the other guy?
I guess I'll never know. I was a union steward for 15 years and people would come and actually ask me "Who should I vote for?" I always told them to vote for the guy that says what you want to hear. But don't believe a word they say.
I believe these guys mean it. Woe to me if they actually win.
I always wonder what reach or impact my views might have. I admit I'm not really even handed when it comes to my opinions. It's because with politics or religion, my views are my own. I'm not looking for someone to agree with. I enjoy people who agree with me but if I found I was writing to "dead air" as it were; I think I would do it anyway.
Be aware!
There is an election coming in less than 45 days. The outcome is crucial to the survival of this country.
You can rest assured that any one who is running as a republican and parrots the view of Romney and Ryan will do what they promise to do. The middle class has all but disappeared already. These idiots will see to it that class warfare is an idiom of the past because in their view there are only two classes. "Them and us." The Obama administration was left holding the bag on G.W.s three wars, the economic meltdown and no help or inclination of how to lead a recovery and now they expect us to give it back to them so it can be fixed by the same bunch that got us here.
I see people who have to work two or three jobs cheering this guy on. They some how see him as the redeemer he thinks himself to be. I don't get it. I'm convinced that People are more gullible than I ever imagined. Someone told me last week that they weren't going to vote at all. Is that one less vote needed for my guy to win or one less for the other guy?
I guess I'll never know. I was a union steward for 15 years and people would come and actually ask me "Who should I vote for?" I always told them to vote for the guy that says what you want to hear. But don't believe a word they say.
I believe these guys mean it. Woe to me if they actually win.
I always wonder what reach or impact my views might have. I admit I'm not really even handed when it comes to my opinions. It's because with politics or religion, my views are my own. I'm not looking for someone to agree with. I enjoy people who agree with me but if I found I was writing to "dead air" as it were; I think I would do it anyway.
Friday, September 14, 2012
I was out yesterday on Reynolds street just after the 3 o'clock shift from the prison was streaming out. They hit Reynolds coming North from Vermillion, Oak and Division Sts. They're all in a hurry. Stop signs are only a suggestion as they come pouring onto the road.
A remarkable number were on their phones and I thought "I remember when, some days, the drive home was the only peace and quiet I may have for that day."
I would either crank up the radio to drown out the noise in my head or just shut everything down and have a static signal on to create some low volume white noise. I know I'm an old man because I don't understand the "urgency" that creates these situations.
Have you ever seen one of those old inter office phones without a dial? They could receive calls but you couldn't dial out. Cell phones should be that way too. I was told by someone "I don't seem to have your cell phone number!" I told them I had a cell phone so I could talk to people. Not so people could talk to me.
Again the line from "Road To Perdition" comes to my head.~~~"I'm in despair of the species."
A remarkable number were on their phones and I thought "I remember when, some days, the drive home was the only peace and quiet I may have for that day."
I would either crank up the radio to drown out the noise in my head or just shut everything down and have a static signal on to create some low volume white noise. I know I'm an old man because I don't understand the "urgency" that creates these situations.
Have you ever seen one of those old inter office phones without a dial? They could receive calls but you couldn't dial out. Cell phones should be that way too. I was told by someone "I don't seem to have your cell phone number!" I told them I had a cell phone so I could talk to people. Not so people could talk to me.
Again the line from "Road To Perdition" comes to my head.~~~"I'm in despair of the species."
Thursday, August 16, 2012
I do not; nor have I ever intentionally solicited anyone to be a friend on my games pages. This crap is generated by Facebook AND your background settings. To stop all those game requests you have to change how your device (pc, mobile, etc) interacts with FB. That’s why they change the rules all the time. I go to my wife’s FB account and see I recently enjoyed a game I’d never seen or heard of. If I click on it just casually to see what it is; it attaches itself to me and everyone on my friends list that has there account open to them. Here is how to close them off.
1. Go to the drop down tab in the upper right corner of your FB page. It’s right next to the word “Home.”
2.Click on “Account Settings” This takes you to the “general accounts settings” page.
3.On the left side of this page is a list. Under General; click on “Notifications”. Now appears the “Notifications settings” Pay no attention to the lists of “recent notifications” go straight to the “All Notifications list.
4. Leave everything you see alone and drop straight down to “Other Applications” this will drop down a list that may be quite extensive.
5. Uncheck the boxes of the apps that are annoying you.
6. MAKE SURE YOU MOVE DOWN TO “SAVE CHANGES” before you leave
I am creating a blog so this can be read again later if you need to do this again. And you will. I’ll leave this up as my profile pic for a couple weeks too.
1. Go to the drop down tab in the upper right corner of your FB page. It’s right next to the word “Home.”
2.Click on “Account Settings” This takes you to the “general accounts settings” page.
3.On the left side of this page is a list. Under General; click on “Notifications”. Now appears the “Notifications settings” Pay no attention to the lists of “recent notifications” go straight to the “All Notifications list.
4. Leave everything you see alone and drop straight down to “Other Applications” this will drop down a list that may be quite extensive.
5. Uncheck the boxes of the apps that are annoying you.
6. MAKE SURE YOU MOVE DOWN TO “SAVE CHANGES” before you leave
I am creating a blog so this can be read again later if you need to do this again. And you will. I’ll leave this up as my profile pic for a couple weeks too.
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